Negotiations should be more like reasonable conversations than hostage situations, but any entrepreneur knows that discussions don’t always go smoothly. Whether you’re speaking to vendors, employees, customers, or anyone else, situations can get heated. Remember that everyone brings their own experiences to every interaction. When you learn about negotiation, someone else’s bad day doesn’t need to ruin yours.

Almost every interaction you have with other people is a negotiation at heart. It doesn’t matter what industry, niche, or line of work you occupy. Human communications at work, at home, and out in the world are all based on negotiation. Once you learn how to think like a negotiator, you can turn almost every interaction in your favour.

Trained negotiators are taught to think about interactions as if each one can develop into a hostage situation. They ask themselves a few basic questions: who is the hostage, who is the hostage-taker, and how did this happen? This framework might sound extreme when you’re simply deciding on dinner with your spouse, asking your kids to pick up their clothes, or scheduling upcoming shifts with your employees. However, you can still streamline every interaction by asking yourself some similar questions.

The next time you start a conversation that you think might get heated, take a second to do some mental prep work. Ask yourself what you want from the situation, plus what you’re willing to give up to make that happen. This simple exercise helps you think about the interaction ahead of time and puts you in the proper mindset for negotiation. A shocking number of entrepreneurs don’t have any negotiation training or techniques, but you’ll be better prepared to get what you want when you ask yourself these two questions.

Once you understand what you want and where you’re willing to compromise, you’re ready to handle most interactions. You can keep your own goals in mind while also being flexible in the face of other peoples’ needs. Almost every conversation will go smoothly when you’re thoughtful and prepared.

Yet, the occasional interaction will get out of control. Out of nowhere, it seems like the person you’re talking to has become heated, emotional, or threatening. You might even find that you’ve lost control of yourself. When this happens, it’s time to ask the third question of hostage negotiation. How did this happen?

When conversations become charged, remember that emotions can be clear signals. Each emotion is a person’s reaction to their situation. Heated negotiations often bring up powerful reactions that can have nothing to do with the topic at hand. Your upset employee or customer might be dealing with family problems, medical issues, financial stress, or any other issues. These other factors bleed over into their conversation with you. Learning how to negotiate with people will help you navigate tricky emotional reactions that impact your business conversations.

This article was based on Episode 14 of the Simplifying Entrepreneurship Podcast (you can listen by clicking the link) with Neil Dunsmore where he talks about his time as a prison negotiator and how this relates to negotiating in business. You can watch the full interview below.